We have all had failures. You hear about them every day and sometimes we just don’t understand why. A business gone bankrupt, job losses, layoffs and top corporate executives failing at running a company.
When my marriage failed and I lost my job, it took to me to a very dark place. From rising up the corporate ladder, having a great family and a home others would have only dreamed of at my age to starting all over again. It was easy to just give up on all my hopes and dreams. But after the grieving and bitterness faded it was time to rise up and continue to head for the goals I had always dreamed of.
Think of success like a seed. A seed cannot germinate in the light. As long as it stays on the shelf it will never grow. It has to be planted in the soil, a dark place, so what’s on the inside will come to the light. In the same way there are seeds in you…dreams… goals… talents… potential… that will only come to life from dark places.
You have heard about it before. Most successful people who have done anything significant have come through dark places before they came to their own destiny. Something happens on the inside you develop patience, humility and confidence. Some will say without their failure they would have never done what they did to be successful.
The dark places are a prerequisite to stepping into developing the fullness of your destiny. In those failures is where we really start to grow and our character develops. It’s where we really start to persevere and get stronger. In the dark places you begin to understand who you are. You reevaluate your priorities. You have a new appreciation for your talents and abilities.
I remember when I had pretty much lost all I had worked so hard for. It was when I was in the dark place that I began to get a new appreciation for others and a renewed vision for the things that were most important. I didn’t get upset as easy. I didn’t worry about what others were thinking about me. It was those times living through my children’s illnesses, losing my father to cancer, my failed marriage and losing my home that I became a stronger person. I thought if I can make it through that I can make it through someone not liking me. When you go through the dark places it toughens you up. It’s those dark places that made me who I am today. Don’t get me wrong, I like the good times and when things are going my way. But it was the lonely times when I thought I could never do it on my own. That’s when I really learned how to believe in myself and develop an unshakable confidence in myself.
You can’t reach your highest potential being in the light all the time… no adversity and nobody coming against you. That sounds good but it will stunt your growth. You will only become enlarged when you go through the tough times of failure or adversity.
Here are 4 things that helped me go through my failures and dark times.
1. Have a good attitude.
It’s important when you go through tough times that you have a good attitude. You have to accept that you may not see it but that it’s working for your good. You have to believe that you are getting stronger, developing character, patience and learning to trust. Trust in your faith. It’s not a coincidence when you hear about successful people talking about what they went through before they achieved their destiny.
You have to believe that it’s part of the plan when life doesn’t make sense. Turning a bad thing or failure into something good is what I believe is all part of our destiny.
Too often we want success right away before going through the tough times. It’s through these times that we prove what we are made of.
2. Have a new perspective.
The dark places are new opportunities to grow. Understand this is what you have to go through in order to get where you want to go. Past that test! Sometimes when you go through a loss or disappointment it’s easy to get discouraged. But I have learned any time something is failing in my life there is something else new coming into my life. Like a new opportunity or different way of doing something. Keep moving forward. You have to go through it in order to get to it. You have to believe what’s on the other side of this valley is your destiny. Your answer to where you want to go.
3. Don’t get bitter.
Going through failures and dark times are only temporary. It won’t do you any good getting bitter. In fact, it will prevent you from getting to your full potential. Most people don’t like the process. They don’t want to go through adversity, betrayal or opposition. But if you can’t get through the dark places then the seed can’t germinate in the light. It’s uncomfortable but if you were to ask some of those that have become successful they would tell you that it was a blessing. They will say look what I have become and was able to accomplish. I know for me that my failed marriage or the loss of my job could have tainted my future. I thought this was going to be the end of me. But I had to get rid of my bitterness and get a new perspective. I had to accept that if I didn’t go through those dark places I would have never discovered what my full potential would be. I would never discover the gifts and talents I had. I didn’t like going through the process in fact it sucked. But I had to accept that new opportunities were coming my way. I wasn’t dying but I was being planted.
4. Be willing to go through the process.
You have to understand that these failures and disappointments are not there to bury you. It’s just a matter of time before they begin to grow into who you were destined to be. If you have the right attitude, a new perceptive and don’t allow yourself to get bitter then you will grow and come out of it stronger with more confidence. You will be well on your way to becoming a person of success not failure.
Pass the test and you will be well on your way to success!
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Thanks for reading and have an awesome week! Remember to help others do what they do… only better. Be a mentor!
“A star wants to see himself rise to the top. A leader wants to see those around him rise to the top.” – Simon Sinek